New 'Tak Nak' campaign launched

In a dramatic move that amount to admission of defeat, Chua announced that they are abandoning the Tak Nak campaign and switch to the New Tak Nak instead. “We realized the campaign is a total failure. People saw the billboards and thought that they are pretty cute,” Chua said from Putrajaya yesterday.

According to study by smoke and haze experts from UPM, the API wouldn’t have reached 500 a few weeks ago had people stopped smoking then. Indon haze contributed to a reading of 300. The rest can be traced to smoke coming out of Azrinaz’s house.

According to Chua, an in-depth study by Professor Asap bin Api of UM and a bunch of mat salleh advisors from the PM’s office concluded that girls, especially Malays, pick up smoking because they are stressed. All said they are being harassed all the time by dirty old men. While older women, especially Chinese, have to resort to smoking because their husbands are crazy over China dolls.

“We have to get to the root cause of the problem,” Chua stressed. In the new campaign, girls are encouraged to say TAK NAK to all the dirty old men that approach them. “Never let an old man talk dirty to you,” Chua lectured all Malaysian girls. The department is still trying to figure out what to do with China dolls. “Maybe we can start inflatable dolls campaign,” Chua wondered.

The campaign received a major boost by initial TAK NAK response from Normala over Azmi’s advances. But her resistance crumbled after she talked to Chua and Pak Lah. “The campaign only targets young girls, she doesn’t have to participate,” Chua clarified. From her house, Normala today said that she reluctantly agreed to marry Azmi because her children need a grandfather figure in the house.

The New Tak Nak campaign was violently opposed by coalition of Nik Aziz and an unnamed Sultan from Brunei. They were seen organizing “Nak, Anakku” campaign yesterday.

In related news, after a quick poll taken among its members, the Cabinet yesterday decided to keep 14-pack cigarette in the market. “We find that 14-pack provides the best shape when it is slipped under teenage girls bras. 20-pack makes it look too big like Anna Nicole Smith, while the 10-pack is too small,” Chua added. “Starting next year, we are banning 10-pack because it’s useless,” he clarified.